


Letting Go

by yugsjae (defsweetheart)



Category: GOT7, JJ Project
Genre: Angst, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Minor Choi Youngjae/Park Jinyoung | Jr., minor jb x seungyoon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-22
Updated: 2018-10-22
Packaged: 2019-07-12 14:54:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15997556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/defsweetheart/pseuds/yugsjae
Summary: "If you love someone, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don’t, they never were."And that's what Jaebeom did.





	1. Now

**Author's Note:**

> (currently in the hotel toilet trying to upload a fic in the middle of my vacation.)
> 
> in honour of Jinyoung's birthday, here's another fic! Enjoy!

**_I got something to say, let’s meet up_ **

**_Now we sit silent, Facing each other_ **

Jaebeom and Jinyoung have been dating for almost 14 years, meeting each other since they were 4 years old, getting together when they were 18 and now that they have graduated university and served the army, it was time for them to adult. They both knew what they wanted to do; Jaebeom had wanted to finally establish ØFFSHORE with his friends and Jinyoung wanted to pursue acting. They left their days of an idol group behind, the other boys much more successful by themselves. Don’t worry, they were all still very close, and met up often when they were all in one city.

The two of them lived in one apartment, it was Jinyoung’s idea. _‘We can cuddle every day!’_ he said, but Jaebeom didn’t even need any convincing because whatever Jinyoung wants from Jaebeom, he gets. The elder was whipped, as everyone said, but he would really give his boyfriend the moon if he asked for it.

Which led up to this moment, both men sitting at the dining table, eating dinner, when Jaebeom spoke up.

“I need to tell you something. And I hope you know how sorry I am.”

“What is it, love?”

“Don’t… call me that anymore.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I… cheated on you.”

In hindsight, Jinyoung was more mature than Jaebeom, he had always been. And if the tables were turned, Jinyoung would have discussed their relationship like an adult. But nonetheless, it was Jaebeom’s ‘ _childish’_ mind that had clouded his judgement.

Jinyoung puts down his utensils and looked down, “When?”

“The… last 2 months.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know…”

The inevitable silence ensues. Despite their outer calm composure, both their minds were running wild, not knowing how to react to this situation, not knowing what to do because they never thought it would have come to this.

Finally, Jaebeom spoke up, “I want us to break up. It’s not fair for you to still be with me.”

Jinyoung sharply inhaled before replying, “Okay. I’ll move in with Youngjae and Yugyeom then.”

“No, no! I’ll move out, you can stay here for as -”

“I don’t want to. I want to move out,” Jinyoung adamantly said, before dragging his chair back, standing up and retreating to their room.

**_I’d been holding on to you for so long_ **

**_But now I must let go_ **

**_There’s nothing I can do for you_ **

Two days later, Jinyoung quickly moved out and into Youngjae and Yugyeom’s apartment and naturally, their friends were confused to this sudden change. They didn’t know what could have been the trigger to this, why Jinyoung had completely and permanently moved out of their apartment since the rest of them always though ‘JJ Project’ was perfect. Really, no one knew what the hell is going on, and neither of the former couple opened their mouths either.

Jaebeom, with his _childish_ mind and his selfish thoughts, had locked himself in the apartment, not answering anyone or the constant knocks on the door. He had somehow prepared for this moment, the packs of ramen, eggs, kimchi, spam and instant rice on the floor to feed him through the days until he was okay again. He still had the company of his three cats; Nora, Kunta and Odd and his home studio, so it was all okay, _he thinks._ If it makes Jinyoung happy.

Jaebeom’s infidelity wasn’t because he was unhappy in the relationship. They both had their good times, bad times, and Jaebeom knew there was no way he could live without Jinyoung. But it wasn’t the same for the other, he knew Jinyoung could live without him, he could go to so many other places, do so many other things. He didn’t need Jaebeom, he didn’t need him as much as Jaebeom needed him.

**_Holding on to you_ **

**_Will do you no good_ **

**_I know, so I struggle to get you out_ **

**_The times we had together, our dear memories_ **

**_I let go, let go, let go_ **

Everyone who knew Jaebeom and Jinyoung personally knew they were each other’s soulmates. Every time you see one of them, you’d definitely see the other. No one would separate them, the agency, their families, friends, **no one**. They were both strong individually, but they’re practically indestructible when they were together, they fit the other’s flaws, and had created their own identity, unique to just the both of them.

From playing in each other’s backyards, to going to the same schools, to entering auditions after auditions and finally getting accepted to the _same_ agency, to debuting as a duo, disbanding, and debuting _again_ in an idol group, to winning so many awards, being worldwide idols, to coming out together as a couple, enduring the bad and the good. They went through everything together, it’s insane to think about it really. The strength of this relationship trumps every other friendship out there, and it was so powerful that everyone thought they were definitely getting married to each other in the future (or some claimed they might have already secretly tied the knot).

_So, what happened?_

Jaebeom had always thought Jinyoung was way too good for him. He always felt like he was holding the younger back, and surprisingly, yes, he had frequently voiced these thoughts out. Every single time he did, Jinyoung had always reassured him that he was never holding him back, he had always been Jinyoung’s strength and whenever the younger was going through something on his own, he’d always know Jaebeom would always be by his side.

Not anymore.

Another major factor that triggered the infidelity was the fact that… Jinyoung could be happier. Jaebeom could give him the moon and sun if he wanted, but Jinyoung deserved the universe. Jaebeom knew Jinyoung was happy with him, but maybe he could be happier with someone else, _someone that is not him_.

Jinyoung made Jaebeom happy, very happy, and even if Jaebeom was down in the worst of ruts, one look at Jinyoung’s eye smile and he was happy again. That’s what Jaebeom wanted Jinyoung to feel when the latter sees him, but he thinks he didn’t, hence, the _infidelity_.

**_The bright future we sought together_ **

**_I know I know we can no longer_ **

**_Wish for a happy ending_ **

Aimlessly walking around the house, there was still traces of Jinyoung. His scent, his toothbrush, his cup and the succulents he insisted on getting because it’d brighten the house, they were all still there. As Jaebeom went to the fridge to grab some eggs and cheese for his ramen dinner (again), he took notice of the thing that started it all.

The one piece of paper that made Jaebeom end up where he is now.

He peeled it off the fridge and took a look at it again.

_Dear Ms Rachel,_

_We’re pleased to inform you that your client, Park Jinyoung, has passed the audition for our new drama ‘The Life as It Seems’ with flying colours. We will cast him as Lee Jaesun, the character he had auditioned for. Trial filming begins in September, and will take place until November, of which we’d wait for the broadcasting company to give the green light for, and official filming will commence again for the next year._

_If Park Jinyoung wishes to accept the role, he must do so by July 7 th, 2018, 11.59PM EST. Any reply after stipulated deadline will be rejected. If he accepts, he has to fly to Los Angeles, California, by August, transportation and accommodation will be provided for as well. Further detailed information will be given after acceptance._

_We wish to hear back from you soon._

_Regards,_

_Jarson Castings_

When Jaebeom had initially read this email, probably printed out by his agent and given to him hardcopy (Jinyoung hated reading things electronically, thus, the lack of social media updates), it was July 4th. Jinyoung hadn’t brought up the casting at all, which meant that he wasn’t going to take it. Jaebeom knew that he was the main reason Jinyoung didn’t want to take this, the former saying before that he never wanted to move out of Seoul because he felt like his company should establish itself first before venturing out. Jinyoung had then replied that he will never move out so long as Jaebeom still wanted to live here.

Jaebeom didn’t want a guy out of all things, to be the reason for Jinyoung not to try bigger opportunities like this. Hopefully he had accepted the offer before it was too late.

 

**_Hopefully the lie was worth it._ **

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also, if you're wondering why there isn't any mark/youngjae birthday fics, it's because they have their own on my twitter!! 
> 
> song: day6 - letting go
> 
> feel free to leave kudos, comments or talk to me on twitter: [defsweetheart](https://twitter.com/defsweetheart)  
> i'm also on [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/defsweetheart)
> 
> (ok ao3 really said fk yugsjae's life, so now it's posted on the 21st.... whatever i cba!)


	2. The Years After That

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i never planned on a sequel but i was in a jjp [emo] hours stage so i was like why not!!!!! also added a little 2young because.... why tf not!!! 
> 
> enjoy!!

**_Two years later_ **

“Jinyoungie?”

“Oh, Jaebeom-ssi, hello.” Jinyoung bows slightly.

He ignores the formality, “How have you been?”

“Good, yes great. I’m getting married soon.”

_Oh_.

 

“Congratulations, he’s a lucky man.”

“No, I am. Youngjae’s the best, I feel like the luckiest man alive.”

“Well, lucky you then.”

“How have you been?”

Other than drowning himself in people and alcohol… “I’ve been good too.”

“I’m glad.”

 

**_Three years later_ **

Jaebeom is just minding his own business, having all his friends _coincidentally busy_ on the exact same weekend. Well then, he’s lucky he has 5 cats then.

He lazily scrolls through his Instagram, he doesn’t go on it often, but he’s _so bored_ out of his mind.

_Oh_.

_Well fuck_.

He forgets that he and his ex share the same friends.

 

_The younger of the two gets married today. (It wasn’t him.)_

His timeline (posts and stories alike) is currently filled with pictures of the happy couple, pictures with the happy couple and pictures of the wedding.

It feels like a stab to the gut.

Just… a really deep and painful stab. _(But aren’t all stabs painful?)_

 

**_Four years later_ **

Jaebeom’s parents introduces him to a son of a close family friend, Seungyoon. Jaebeom knows him, well, he has _heard_ of him. He thinks he’s nice.

 

They get married 6 months later.

 

But he isn’t Jinyoung.

 

 

The same year, Jinyoung and Youngjae adopt twins.

_How did he know this?_

Well, Jinyoung hasn’t changed his username after all these years. He looks at the pictures the younger had posted recently. The babies’ cute, he guesses.

 

‘ _It could’ve been us_ ,’ Jaebeom thinks.

 

**_Six years later_ **

Jaebeom didn’t think he’d die like this.

 

_He was just walking home from work, for God’s sake._

 

Now he’s lying on the cold, hard ground. _(Pun not intended.)_

He feels liquid at the tips of his fingers but doesn’t look down to see what it is.

He assumes it’s blood.

 

_The next time he opens his eyes, he saw the person he least expects to see._

 

“Jinyoungie?” He breathes out weakly.

“Hi, Jaebeom…”

“Hey…” He tries to sit up but couldn’t. He looks around. _Ah_ , trapped by so many wires and tubes. _Huh_.

“The doctor said you don’t have much time left… I know it’s stupid for me to say that, but we were always honest with each other, you know? Seungyoon-ssi requested for me to be here in his place… They only allow one person with you at each time.”

 

Jaebeom chuckles, “Remember when you sprained your ankle and you thought you were going to die? I had to carry you 8 blocks down because there were no taxis nearby… How the tables have turned, huh?”

Jinyoung manages a small smile.

 

“I… need to tell you something.”

His breathing gets slower and heavier. He tries keep it a little while longer.

_He needed to do this._

The younger out of the two takes a deep breath, “What is it?”

 

**_“I… never cheated on you.”_ **

 

A slight pause. “I know.”

_He did? But how?_

“I knew that… you breaking up with me was for me to go for the gig. I’m not dumb, Jaebeom. We’ve known each other for years, I know when you’re lying to me.”

_Huh_.

 

“You took the gig though.”

“I did, yes.”

“Then it worked out, didn’t it?” He lightly jokes.

His breathing gets much slower now.

 

“ _Jinyoungie_?”

“Yeah?”

 

“I love you, and I always will.”

“I love you too, more than you’ll ever know.”

Jinyoung leans forward and presses his lips against Jaebeom _(one last time)._

_‘So, this is what Heaven on Earth feels like,' Jaebeom thinks._

 

A loud sound from one of the many machines sounded.

 

It was a flatline.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [twitter](https://twitter.com/defsweetheart) || [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/defsweetheart)


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